That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
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"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I

Once there was a retired pirate so he decides to live with his brother.

The pirate walks up to his brothers house and knocks on the door and his brother answers the door and says, "Oh my gosh , what happened to your hand!?! "

The pirate said, "I lost it in a sword fight , but now I have a hook."

Then the brother said, "What about your leg?"

The pirate said, "A cannonball hit it , but now I have a peg leg ."

Then the brother said, "Well , what about your eye?"

The pirate said, "I got some dust in it ."
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The brother said, "How could you lose your eye by just getting some dust in it?"

Then the pirate said, "It was my first day with my hook! ha ha

There were these three guys outside of a bar. There was a black guy, a white guy, and a chinese guy. They all had been in the bar before and saw this gorgious women.

Well they made a bet to see who could make the woman scream.
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The black guy goes in a comes out and the women is laughing, and then the white guys goes in, well after he comes out she is laughing even harder.

The chinese guy goes in and a after a few minutes she is screaming bloody murder. Then he comes out, and the other two guys said how did you do that, and the chinese guy goes "Me chinese, me play trick, me put hot sauce on my dick!"